Being that I'm currently pregnant with baby #3, you'd think I'd be more relaxed, right? Well I'm not! With Lyric, she was of course my first and I had no idea what I was in for. Sure I read PLENTY and heard even more stories and advice from family and friends, but because I knew every situation was different, I knew I couldn't really imagine what my labor/delivery would be like. Boy, wasn't that the truth! A 23+ hr labor, 8 hrs of pushing and an emergency c section were truly never in my thoughts! Neither was the severity of the pain. With Luve, my second, I was SO focused on having a successful VBAC that I had no time to worry about anything else. I was overly determined to have him vaginally, knowing how hard the recovery from a c section would be especially having lyric at home. It just wasn't an option in my heart or mind. Through the power of prayer which included my determined heart, I delivered him VBAC about 2 1/2 weeks before his due date. When he came out I honestly was kind of out of it, focussing more on the fact that he was born vaginally and we were BOTH safe and healthy rather than the fact that my brand new baby boy was just born, laying there on my chest. Then I had to get that placenta out. GROSS.
So anyway, this time around, I'm freaking out and SO nervous! I hesitate taking the kids for a walk around the block incase my water breaks and I go into labor, and I'm even super careful while playing horsey with lyric (I'm the horse, duh lol) because what if my water breaks!! Lol it's all I focus on. Hello, Andie, it's gonna happen one way or another. It's like I'm putting it off. Partially because during this pregnancy I've developed a REALLY weak stomach and truly anything labor related makes me want to gag! But the other huge part is because I am about to meet this little guy! Another little person that Saia and I have created. WE are about to meet our third child, our second son. Will we be what he expects? I'm so nervous. He has chosen us, this I know, but will we live up to all he wants and needs? What is he going to look like, sound like, will he be a great sleeper like his brother and sister? (Fingers crossed lol). I'm almost as nervous as I would be on the first day of going to a new school, or starting a new job, not knowing anyone there. I'm going to meet this little guy who has been kicking me like CRAZY in my ribs the past month and tucking his tiny feet under there, which is obviously comfortable for him, but not so much for me. Is he going to be a little rascal? What is he going to like? HOW ARE LYRIC AND LUVE GOING TO REACT? So many questions. That is another thing I wonder, how will my two babies NOW react and respond to him? Lyric loves babies, but those babies aren't ours. They don't have to share constant attention, and don't stay forever. She's had to share Saia and I with Luve since she was 14mo, but she was so young then she had no idea what was going on. Not to mention she really couldn't stand the kid and All his crying haha. Getting her to take a picture holding him was SO far out of the question. She would push his head until he was off of her. Luckily now she understands being gentle and nice, so I know I won't have to worry about that. LUVE on the other hand, where do I start? He is 14mo now just as lyric was when he was born, but he's SUCH a mummy's boy. So attached to me and so jealous when he doesn't get attention. He's the kid who cries/whines when I leave him to go to the bathroom, even though its only for 2 minutes. Lyric is so independent and could care less. She'll just play until I get back. Luve tends to be pretty clingy and though he loves his independence as well, he's really into climbing on me and just being close. I make him happy which I love. There is no greater joy than feeling love from your child. Truly. And unfortunately I'm now getting a little teary eyed. My little boog is gonna have to share me with someone else. I shouldn't be feeling guilt, because his feelings will be temporary and he will learn to love his baby brother, but I can hardly help it. As a mother you want your children to always be happy. I just hope he adjusts well.. And not to mention, I hope this new little guy adjusts well to his brother and sister as well. My prayer is that they all grow up super close, and watch over/protect each other.
I can't believe I will soon have three children. THREE.
Saia comes from a family of 12. Yes, 12 kids. Same beautiful mom and same great dad. I still try and comprehend it. Anyway, he's used to a big family. Of course this is new as we have three kids of our own now, that WE created and that WE are responsible for, but none the less, he's used to lots of people being around. Well, I have one brother. Juuuuust one. So it was always only the two of us. I never had to "share" with a sister, or anything like that. We were very much our own people with our own rooms, things and friends. The only things we shared were arguements ;) just kidding. But anyway, I'm now breaking out of the "family of four" mold. I'm having more kids than my parents did! I think this adds to my worry about baby #3. Only because I'm not sure what to expect.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I'm excited to meet this little guy and can't wait to show him off to the world. I'm grateful for the family Saia and I have, and am so grateful we are being blessed with another little soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment